It really doesn’t matter how many days you spend in bed in a row afterwards, once you lose sleep from sadness and stress, you never recuperate those hours you lost. I went two weeks without sleeping more than 4 hours at a time. The human body needs at least seven.
I feel completely broken and worn down. You never notice the sadness eating away at you until it makes you sick either. I just want my family to feel okay again. I won’t feel better until they do.

Call me five, but the entire first half of prom night I was completely and utterly homesick. Or family sick? I don’t think that’s a word. But I wanted nothing more than to be home. I spent almost every hour since the last week of march with my family. From when my Tio was diagnosed, to his treatments, to his death, to the better half of my family all flying over here. My schedule has been school, home, and immediately over to wherever everyone else was.
Accordingly, I spent Saturday morning with everyone and then suddenly I was ready for prom, out on a party bus and all I would think about was that all my cousins were together without me. They all ate dinner together without me. What was I even out celebrating anyway? I needed to be home, we’re in mourning. We need to be together. At some point when I actually got to the dance, I let myself have fun. And it was fun. I’m glad I was there, I only get one junior prom.
On the other hand, everything about today felt right. I had breakfast with my entire family of those that are still here. I went to church with my whole family. We gathered for dinner with my whole family.
Suddenly everything was less sad. And I sit in my bed and pray every night to God, even to my uncle, that it worked out in the end for all intensive purposes. Gods plan is bigger than mine. And I know my uncle wanted nothing more than to have my family be a family again. He had his dying wish. And he still does. And although he can’t physically enjoy our unity with us, he’s there in every yellow flower, in every Spanish rock song and in every genuine smile we all share. Thank you for giving me something back that I never knew I was missing. I hope you’re as proud of us as I am.

plottwist:

what if those “you’ve just won a giftcard/laptop/big money” things were actually real instead of scams and for years we’ve just been denying free gifts and somewhere in the world someone is like crying behind their computer screen whispering why won’t you just let me do nice things 

Anonymous asked: Are you going to "The Beatles: The Lost Concert" movie premier in a few weeks?

No, are you?